no i’m not gonna lend you my pencil because if i lend you my pencil then you’ll want my calculator and then you’ll want austria and czechoslovakia and then you’ll end up invading poland and i will not have that shit
So we have an Italian exchange student at our school. And he and I were hanging out and he saw a pony, and he tried to show me but he didn’t know what it was called so he just pointed at it and said “Look, the compressed horse.”
And then he just grinned at his complete understanding of the English language.
Does anyone remember the commercials where the kids asked for ravioli and their parents said no so the kid put it back but then the can threw itself off the shelf and rolled its way to the kids house and the mom was so accepting of it when she found it not thinking if her kid took it anyways after her saying no and they ate it for dinner.
how many “friend-zoned” guys does it take to change a light bulb? None they’ll just compliment it and get pissed when it won’t screw.
this is the best joke ever